How many times in a day will someone ask, are you OK?
But what does it mean, and how do you respond?
Do you believe that people are asking because they are genuinely concerned about your wellbeing or it is just another way of greeting each other?
You already had a busy Saturday morning - but you have one more task - to do your weekly food shopping. Whilst passing through crowds to get to the supermarket, your thoughts are actually racing - am I ever going to make it?
All these people make you feel uncomfortable, and you wish you could become invisible. You are starting to feel slightly anxious thinking, am I going to catch the virus?”
You are trying to avoid them until someone from the crowd is asking you, are you OK?
A work colleague is approaching you asking again, ‘are you OK?’
Although you work together, you’re thinking the question was asked to be polite, or just for greeting. Your immediate response was, ‘yes, I’m fine, just doing some shopping!’
You do however feel obliged to ask the same question and having received an affirmative answer you decide to continue with your shopping.
Do you ever wonder how liberating it might feel, if for that moment you were able to tune in with your feelings and reply, ‘I am not OK, I feel slightly anxious!
By answering openly and honestly you are already acknowledging your Life Position for that moment in time.
Take a look at the table below, see if it makes any sense and decide which Life Position are you in this moment.
| You are OK with me | |||
| I am NOT OK with me | I am NOT OK You are OK One down position get away from helpless |
I am OK You are OK Healthy position get on with happy |
I am OK with me |
| I am NOT OK You are NOT OK Hopeless position get nowhere with helpless |
I am OK You are NOT OK One-up position get rid of angry |
||
| You are NOT OK with me | |||
How will it feel if for that instance you are being true to yourself, by responding accordingly, rather than what you believe to be expected of you?
How would it feel to be able to make the decision which could change your life script?
This life script or life plan is like a prophecy which was given to you by your parents or parental figures in your childhood. This is so definite that you still feel obliged to honour it today.
The theory behind this is known as transactional analysis, and was developed by Eric Berne. It is a social psychology and a method used to improve communication. Transactional analysis is underpinned by the philosophy that people can change and we all have a right to be in the world and be accepted.
So what do you say? Are you ready to tune in and choose a healthy life position?
For more tools and resources on wellbeing visit: areyouok.gov.im